Thursday, April 15, 2010

Ugly side of pain…….

Dark thoughts, pit of despair
Feeling lonely, nothing to share
Frustrations abound, stifling my air

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Because I never allow it to show
how could anyone ever truly know
Intense pain’s low brutal blow 

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I’d love to find  the hidden treasure
the joy of never needing to measure
the beauty of my pain-free pleasure

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The challenges deep within my being
leave my bruised, battered soul fleeing
searching for health’s elusive freeing

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My anguish displayed center stage
a massive captive in a tiny cage
too constricting for consuming rage

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Monumental challenges abound
darkness sways and swirls around
enveloping angst makes no sound

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Spirits don’t glow in darkness deep
from me passionate convictions seep
torment chokes, emotions weep

This poem is inspired by a screaming earache.  It’s definitely an 11 on a scale from 1 to 10.  I have taken vicodin and a toradol shot and I am beginning to feel nothing except my earache.  I am currently even wearing an earplug just because sometimes having a plug in causes a different sensation.  Thus making the pain seem less intense.  I will explain that I have been to a neurorhinotolaryngologist (neurologic ear, nose and throat doc).  I was completely tested and I have definite nerve damage in my ears. Luckily, it does not affect my hearing but it does cause pain, typically, daily.  Today is by far the worst day for ear pain that I have experienced to date.
I am not explaining this in hopes of soliciting sympathy.  I am merely defining the origin of the bleakness in this poem.
I certainly hope today finds my friends, loved ones, blog sisters, and sickmates (like cellmates only our only sentence is a diagnosis) healthy, happy and pain free. No humor, quote, or question…..can’t think in that direction at this moment.

3 comments:

  1. "Sickmates" too funny!!

    Love you girl, hope your ear settles down and you can get back to exploring Korea so us United States bound folks can live thru you;)

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  2. I am praying for you. I can't imagine ear pain like that. I love the poem and I am going to write it in my journal so I can go back to it. I hope you have a better day today. Your friend, Karen

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  3. Ouch! Oh sweetie I am praying also that you will find relief ASAP. The poem is lovely! You are very gifted!

    I'm glad to hear there is no surgery on the horizon...I must have imagined I saw that in a post. I bet there are all kinds of interesting and yummy foods in korea to enjoy. How long will you be there?

    A little Frost to send you into the weekend..."Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length."

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